picture this: golf ball
this picture was taken in april of last year on course two of boca west golf club in boca raton, florida. the golf ball is an LS and the grass is bermuda. this picture hangs proudly, irreverently on my office wall. although the picture is right side up, the writing on the golf ball is upside-down. and, despite what visitors have suggested, the writing does not say dog. it does not say dood either. that’s not even how dude is spelled. people are very strange sometimes…
i don’t know why i’d written poop on my golf ball. i think it’s in the same vein of thought that would have the golf ball photographed, uploaded into iphoto, exported to kodak to order prints, framed, hung and eventually written about. here’s the best (lack of an actual) explanation i can offer (that no one will actually care about):
at the beginning of each round, i’ll dig/steal three unmarked golf balls out of my father’s friend danny’s golf bag and mark each one individually/ridiculously/uniquely so that no one mistakes my golf ball for their own.
if i’m feeling especially confident in my ability to keep the balls out of the water, away from the skylights or off the adjacent highways, i’ll mark the balls with something that holds (some) meaning… like characters from the west wing or bell, biv and devoe. generally, sam seaborn, toby ziegler and josh lyman perform better than the new edition guys, but ricky bell is still the most consistent off the tee and ronnie devoe is great out of the sand.
if i’ve been inexcusably erratic on the driving range, i might go in a different direction. one that has a humble, apologetic nature to it. on one such outing, i’d name my golf balls oops, sorry about your window and i’m a 21 handicap. on another, i might just scribble a few smiley faces on the balls, in hopes that an apparently happy ball might make someone less irritated about a titleist rolling across their driveway.
and, as it seems, on this day i’d written poop, which was more an indication of my (in)ability to process thought than my outlook on the upcoming round of golf. and now that thought is proudly displayed on my wall, this post and, um, nowhere else.
i suck at golf.